Birthday from Hell
by Clarity2199
Summary: Re-edited. It was Seto Kaiba's birthday, and his brother had plans to make this day the most memorable day of Seto's life, which may not be a good thing. PG rating only for mild language.


**YUGIOH**

Birthday from Hell

Since everyone seems to be writing a birthday for Seto Kaiba, I can assume it 'must' be his official birthday. And who am I to not honor it myself and not write atleast 'something' for the poor guy. ;)

PS: I did not include any of Marik or Bakura....not very good with them.

Seto Kaiba looked completely miserable, heading home in his limo, with his brother bouncing up and down on the seat across from him. Usually Kaiba would be pleased to see his brother in such a good and happy mood, but this time the reason behind it was giving him a serious headache.

Kaiba unconsciously lowered his head and pinched the area between his eye brows from the stress, as the conversation quickly came back to him the day before....

_'Please Seto, please??'_

_'No, Mokuba....'_

_'Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaassse???? Just this one time, I promise I wont ask again!!!'_

_'You said that last year.'_

_'I don't ask for too many days from you. Can't you try to have fun with me just this one time, Seto??'_

_Kaiba clenched his jaw seeing the waterworks beginning on his brother, and couldn't stop himself in time from the words instinctively pouring from his mouth. 'All right....I'll do it.'_

....and he had regretted those words ever since. And now that time was finally here, as the limo pulled up to his home. It was normally a place of sanctity, but today it would be hell. For Mokuba had convinced him to take time off of work, and come home to enjoy his 'Surprise Birthday Party'.

Yes, it was supposed to be a surprise. The problem was that there was no way to throw a surprise unless he convinced everyone to show up at Kaiba's house at 2am, when he actually came home....which Mokuba couldn't get Yugi or his friends to do. And there was no way that Kaiba would come home at a 'regular' time, especially right after school, unless Mokuba told him the truth. But that was okay with everyone else, because they didn't want their surprise to spur on Kaiba's wrath, anyway. This way, Kaiba would not be surprised, he wouldn't be angry, Mokuba would make him show up, and they could still atleast 'fake' a surprise.

As Kaiba headed to the door, Mokuba was constantly chattering beside him, saying, "Remember Seto, you also promised you'd join in the party, too."

"I don't remember that promise." Kaiba muttered, his hand hesitating at the door handle.

Mokuba reminded him, "Remember, I said I didn't want you to go running off and working in your office away from the party, so you promised you'd join in the party with us."

Kaiba paused, thinking if he actually promised to those exact words. It was possible, since Mokuba was giving him such a headache at that time, and he had already promised to coming here today, that he might have said so just to shut him up. Now he looked over at Mokuba trying to hide his fear, as he asked, "What does 'joining the party' involve exactly??"

"Joining in on the festivities...." Mokuba answered, with an almost evil smile.

Kaiba looked at his brother in almost horror at the thought of him having to possibly 'bob for apples', or some other totally childish and frightening game that only Yugi and his stupid friends could think up.

Mokuba quickly opened the door for his brother, and had to practically push him into the house, crying out non-challantly, "Oh Seto, we're home! Let's go into the living room for a moment!"

Kaiba just rolled his eyes at the obvious way Mokuba was getting the hidden guest's attention, as the CEO gave up and walked into the living room, like he was walking over to be hung. Infact, he would have preferred that at the moment, then what was about to happen to him.

Hidden behind various furnishings, Yugi and his friends immediately all jumped out and called out, "Surprise!!" With Mokuba running up and joining in on the chant.

Kaiba gave a heavy sigh, as he slumped down on the couch trying to ignoring the horrible-sounding song.

'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Kaiba (Seto from Mokuba), happy birthday to you!'

Kaiba had believed it was over with the terrible singing, but no....it continued.

'How oold are you, how oold are you, happy birthday dear Kaiba (Seto), how oold are you!'

Atleast that's what it sounded like most of them said, yet some was spouting off other words, not sounding too sure on the wording for this second verse....making it sound even worst than the first verse, if that was possible.

They all cheered, as Tristan said, "That's a good question, how old are you?"

"None of your business." Kaiba snapped.

Mokuba quickly jumped in, "He's eighteen." Not seeming to make Kaiba too happy on sharing this information with everyone.

"Only eighteen? Wow, I'm going to be nineteen in a couple months." Joey said.

Strangely enough, this seemed to cause Kaiba to lighten up at the moment, as he couldn't resist but to comment, "That's interesting....I didn't know you could count that high."

"Say, what? Why, I'll...." Joey began to say, getting all flustered. But Tristan pulled him back, as Yugi quickly whispered for Joey to calm down, reminding him that it was Kaiba's birthday.

Serenity brought in a big sheet cake for everyone to be able to chow down on, complete with 19 candles, which Mokuba quickly pulled one out, seeing the mistake Yugi's group made. As Serenity began to light the candles, that's when the real hell started.....everyone was putting on party hats.

Sure enough one was quickly waved into Kaiba's face as well, by Joey himself grinning ear to ear, saying, "Here's yours, Kaiba."

"You've got to be kidding me." He growled.

Mokuba immediately jumped in front, saying, "Seto, you promised!!!" And not giving Kaiba enough time to even argue or think of a way out, Joey quickly put it on his head.

He knew he was defeated either way, he had mistakenly promised without knowing the full details behind it. Kaiba leaned back on the couch, hand on his head and internally crying inside, as he asked, "There's atleast no pictures involved, are there??"

He had to ask.

"Of course there is!" Replied the chipper voice of Tea, who was setting up the camera as he asked.

Yugi now joined in, saying, "All the candles are lit, Kaiba. Make a wish and blow it out!"

"Make a wish?" He asked.

Joey asked, "Don't tell me ya never did this before. It's tradition!"

"Not in this household....." Mokuba grumbled.

Kaiba looked over at his brother with the look of sheer evil in his eyes, saying, "Don't worry Mokuba, I'll make certain to give you a memorable day on your next birthday that you'll never forget!"

Mokuba swallowed, suddenly beginning to wonder if this was worth it, after all.

"Come on Kaiba, make a wish!" Tristan now said, reinforcing what Yugi said moments ago.

Kaiba paused, seeming to think of something, then blew the candles out, while at the same time the camera flashed. He then looked around at the others, who were cheering at him for succeeding to blow them all out, and said sadly, "It didn't come true."

Mokuba snickered at that, having a good idea he knew what Kaiba's present wish was.

Serenity now approached Kaiba, offering him a sharp knife, asking, "You want to do the honors to cut the cake?" Joey immediately paled in horror, seeing his sister handing Kaiba a knife while he's in a bad mood. Especially while he looked at the knife, then Serenity, then the knife again, as if sizing up his options.

Mokuba was quick to jump in front of his brother and grab the knife, saying, "Why don't I do that, instead?" Perhaps also a little concerned about tempting fate. Mokuba looked over at his brother, asking, "How big a piece, Seto?"

"No thanks." Kaiba answered.

"It's your birthday! You have to have a piece, Setooo!!" Mokuba whined, causing Kaiba to wince from it.

"Just....give me a sliver." He muttered quickly, to once again shut Mokuba up.

Mokuba cut a nice big piece, a part that had a flower on it, and handed it to his brother. "Here ya go, Seto. Since it's your birthday, you should have the biggest fanciest piece!"

"Great." Kaiba said, thinking, 'Someone shoot me now....'

Mokuba then handed the knife back to Serenity to cut the rest, as Mokuba got Duke and Joey to start pouring the drinks....which was cool-aid, that Yugi and Tea made. Kaiba thought he was going to gag....he never ate anything with sugar, and this sweet chocolate was way too rich for him to handle. The sweet cool-aid didn't help either. Plus, this birthday desert only worried Kaiba even more on the sugar matter. Mokuba getting this much sugar intake was going to be bouncing off the walls in the next ten minutes.

Five minutes later, Mokuba was jumping around like a kid possessed. He was running back and forth across the room, as if he was the flash, bringing the presents over one by one that was piled up, saying, "Open this one, Seto! Now open this! How about this one? Hey, this is Yugi's! Open mine, Seto!! Open mine!!"

During the whole time, Tea had put down the camera, and whipped out her vid-cam. The rest of the group were simply staring at Mokuba, trying to figure out exactly what happened to the poor kid.

....and Kaiba was by now buried in a mound of presents before he could even open one of them.

Slowly but surely, he managed to unbury himself, as he began to open present by present, while silently contemplating how to sneak those cameras away from Tea and destroy the incriminating evidence. Yugi got him some Duel Monster's cards, and a few unopened packs, which he opened. Out of those packs, they were surprised to see one of the cards that were inside.

Yugi smiled, saying, "Wow, that's the Dark Magician!" Making Kaiba's eye start to twitch. He quickly threw the cards down, and opened another.

It was a stuffed....'pink' Blue Eyes White Dragon. Kaiba looked horrified. With a giggle, Tea said, "I knew you liked the card, and that looked sooooo cute in the toy section of the store. I knew you'd like it!"

Joey and Tristan were both trying to keep from chuckling, Mokuba quickly put the knife back into the kitchen, and Yugi was starting to look scared.

Kaiba quickly moved to Mokuba's gift, in an attempt to keep sane, finding a cute attempted drawing of him and Mokuba together, which was colored by watercolor paint. Painting was definitely 'not' Mokuba's strong point. "Do you like it Seto? I worked for two days on it!"

"What is it??" Joey asked, looking cross-eyed at it, in an attempt to figure it out. Then to make matters worse, he snickered saying, "Well, it's the thought that counts....right??"

Mokuba gave a couple of sniffs, like he was about to go into tears, causing Kaiba to give Joey a death glare. Instantly Joey backed away in fear, crying, "Yaaa!! I mean, whatever it is, it's really good, Mokuba!!"

Everyone immediately chimed, "That's great! It looks great!" Anything to keep the poor sugar-induced kid from crying, so that Kaiba didn't start killing people.

Kaiba turned to Mokuba and smiled, saying, "Thanks Mokuba....I like it."

Mokuba immediately smiled ear to ear, and hugged his brother, saying, "Thanks, Seto!" Everyone let out the breath they were holding, knowing the moment of sheer terror had finally passed.

Kaiba then opened Serenity's gift to find.... "Darts?" He asked.

"Uh....I didn't know what to get you. I heard you liked games." She shrugged, obviously knowing nothing about Kaiba.

"Mebbe that aint the best gift to keep around him at the moment." Joey swallowed, glad he didn't get that gift first 'before' Mokuba's. Kaiba gave Joey an evil sneer, but put it aside, for now.

Next thing was Tristan's. Kaiba unwrapped it to find a framed picture of....himself??

Tristan snickered, saying, "Well, I figured the one thing you loved more than anything in this world was probably yourself!" And began to laugh.

Joey immediately joined in the laughter, asking, "Jeez, why didn't I think of that for a gift??" But Mokuba glared at them, just about as much as Kaiba, not too happy at the 'joke' gift.

Kaiba threw the picture on the ground with a harsh-smash, breaking the glass as he opened the next present, which was unfortunately Joey's. Joey got him a pair of matching socks and a tie....all of which had bright pink and blue colors with, of all things.....care bears on them.

Now Tristan, Duke, and Joey were all laughing, as Joey commented in-between chuckles, "Well, I wanted to find a gift that could help you lighten up. But there's still one more thing in there...."

Kaiba was afraid to look, but he dug in there to find a light bulb, wrapped extra to keep it from breaking. "Just incase the tie and socks didn't work to 'lighten' you up...." Joey snickered, as the other two continued to laugh.

He looked down at the gift Joey got him, and answered, "What can I say....I'm shocked." Everyone quieted down, surprised that Kaiba didn't sound angry. He then looked back up at a confused Joey, and offered a very slight smirk, adding, "I'm surprised you could afford even that. Was this something the Salvation Army gave you from their free pile, perhaps?"

"Bastard!" Joey snapped, hating the fact that Kaiba somehow turned the joke gift around on him, and lunged at Kaiba, quickly being stopped by Duke and Tristan.

"Not on his birthday!!" They snapped, dragging him back.

Kaiba ignored Joey, opening the gift from Duke. It was, of all things....a dog suit. Kaiba glanced up at Duke unamused, but noticed the gift seemed to make Joey even more pissed-off, and glanced over at the dice man questioningly.

"I thought you'd like the very suit I made Joey wear when he lost to me." He smirked.

"You fucking bastard!" Joey now snapped, trying to launch himself at Duke, being held back by Tristan, while Serenity was jumping in the way, to calm him down.

Kaiba stood up and immediately snapped at Joey, "Watch your language!" Angered from Joey speaking that way with Mokuba present.

Serenity immediately reminded Joey that it was Kaiba's birthday, and he had to apologize to him, which Joey grudgingly did.

Kaiba then looked at his unique present, then at Duke, and said, "Thank you." He then smirked at Joey, saying, "Maybe I can use this next time the puppy decides to challenge me."

Joey looked angry, but then threw it back at Kaiba, saying, "Hey, no sweat. And maybe I'll show off your picture to the school of you with your cute little party hat on tomorrow, too...." Causing Kaiba to quickly lose the only moment of this party he had actually begun to enjoy.

Last but not least was Mai's present. Kaiba pulled out...."A dollar bill?"

"Look carefully...." Mai winked.

Kaiba did, and wasn't amused. Mai shrugged, saying, "It's kind of a shame....Duke stole my idea, though I think mine is still better."

Sure enough, it was a dollar bill with Kaiba's face printed on it, instead....another cheap gag. For people who were trying to think of something to get a person who had everything, these were a far cry from even any real good attempts. Oh well....

With the garbage cleaned up, and most of the gifts thrown out, next were games. Mokuba was genius enough to decide that each person at the party would choose a game, and they would all have to do it.

Mai's was first choice, and she decided Truth or Dare. It was a big mistake, that resulted in multiple fights to break out between Joey and Duke, Tristan and Duke, Joey and Tristan, and finally Joey trying to once again attack the 'birthday boy', for using this opportunity to play the words right in order to insult him one way or another.

Kaiba was curious why these morons decided to let the girls go first at choosing, anyway? Serenity thought up 'Spin the Bottle', making Kaiba want to crawl into a hole, somewhere. Fortunately, that barely lasted one round, when Duke had to kiss Serenity. Both Tristan and Joey ganged up against Duke, in an attempt to pound him to a pulp.

Yes....Tea was next. She decided on charades, which she combined with Duel Monsters. They took Kaiba's new cards, combined their favorites into it (which they were glad Bakura wasn't here to turn this into some kind of sick shadow 'soul' game), and shuffled. Whatever card they got was what they had to try and get the others to guess what it was, without words. This didn't even last long enough for the first person to start guessing, when Kaiba got his card and ripped it up.

Yugi looked horrified, and Joey immediately pointed (thinking this was part of the game, like an idiot), and blurted out, "Blue Eyes White Dragon!!" Causing everyone to turn and look shocked at him. And though it was not any of Kaiba's 'Blue Eyes' cards (to think Kaiba would actually rip up his own card, just to make a point - right), it was the Dark Magician....causing Yugi to freak out even more. Kaiba quickly reminded Yugi, who had turned into Yami and looked like he was about to banish him to the shadow realm, that this Dark Magician was in fact 'his' card, and not the favorite that Yugi put in there. But bringing up old wounds was not a good idea, and everyone agreed to go on to the next game.

Yami had returned to Yugi, who quickly pulled his favorite card out, and it was his turn to pick a game. Yugi had decided on a friendly game of cards from a normal card deck....crazy eights. The problem was, when it came to Kaiba....no game was friendly. And when it came to people from the ancient past wielding cards, for some reason they always seem to have the luck of the draw. In no time at all, it was once again Kaiba vs. Yugi, who had changed into Yami and both were playing this as if it was life or death. All the others had already lost, and watching these two act like children. To piss Kaiba off even more....he lost.

Devlin's choice of game was Yhatzee, which came to no surprise, being the dice-master. He even brought the game with him, just incase. This game seemed to drag on forever, and they soon quit since 1/2 the people playing had fallen asleep. Kaiba didn't enjoy the game either, since he preferred skill over chance.

Joey, the genius that he is, came up with the stupid idea of having one neutral person flip a coin, and one by one people would guess which side. If they got it wrong, they were out. When there was one person left still in......that was the winner. The only thing good Kaiba liked about this game was that it was a fast game. Joey was almost first out of it, too. Then again, Kaiba was the one who chose to be the flipper, and knew how to make it flip the way he wanted, and psyched people into guessing wrong....hardly a 'neutral' party person. Yugi again was the winner, and Mokuba was second (amazing how Mokuba guessed it right every time, almost as if Kaiba was somehow helping him. Hmmm....). Again Kaiba was pissed, since he wasn't able to psyche Yami out, and he still won.

Tristan decided on a game of Eye-Spy with the group, finding things in the living room to choose from. But the game was too quick and easy, not even giving everyone a chance to guess before it was already figured out.

Mokuba was next who decided on Scrabble. It was one of the few games Kaiba didn't mind so much - a thinking game. But everyone else seemed bored out of their minds....Yugi won.

Finally, it was Kaiba's turn, who was by this time completely ticked off that Yugi won almost every game he didn't pass out from, due to boredom. Everyone else was curious what kind of game Kaiba would choose. To their surprise, he decided to try out the new game that was given him....darts. Yugi turned back into Yami, looking all cocky and ready to once again kick Kaiba's ass. But they were all surprised to see Kaiba then get some tape, and patch up the Dark Magician card he had ripped up. He then brought it to the dart board that was also part of Serenity's present, and stuck the Dark Magician right in the center of it.

Kaiba strutted over to Yami, handing the darts to him, and said, "Stick the Dark Magician enough times, and you win. You're first, Yugi."

Instantly, Yami changed back to Yugi, who ran out of the room in tears. Yugi lost by default. The others played, and finally....Kaiba won. He decided he liked this game, maybe even the new cards he got, too.

Finally the day was winding down, and Kaiba was glad to know his birthday was just about over. By the end, Kaiba even felt like he was starting to have fun....even though he would never openly admit to it. The worst was over, and he could finally relax. He even took the ridiculous party hat off of him without anyone protesting. Yet....there was this strange feeling of dread in the air, like the calm before the storm. People were praising about this being a good party, and seeming to be relaxing....but people were eyeing each other strangely, and Mokuba had a strange combined look of nervousness and mischief.

Then Joey then spoke up, saying, "So Kaiba, I guess this party's about over, and yer probably ready for us to go, huh?"

"Yet why do I have a feeling there's a 'but' coming after that sentence?" Kaiba asked. Still, Kaiba was wondering even more on why his own question caused Mokuba to turn pale, and multiple people to snicker.

"Uh...." Joey stuttered nervously, as if he wasn't sure about something. "Well, there's one more thing that we have to do. It's also traditional in a birthday party."

".....which is?"

"Come here and take a seat over here, and we'll show ya!" Joey smirked.

"I think I'd rather stand right here." Kaiba said with defiance, crossing his arms in distrust.

For the moment Joey looked his normal self again, glaring at Kaiba like he's a jerk, saying, "We got a final present, okay??"

Kaiba was still suspicious, but approached the seat. As people closed in where he had walked, his paranoia caused him to feel trapped for some reason, and why was Mokuba looking down at his feet with a blush on his face?? He began to turn around, as he had mentally decided to stay standing just in case, when Duke shouted, "NOW!"

To Kaiba's shock and horror, he was grabbed, turned around, and his face was forced down into the seat of the chair by about four of them. He struggled hard against them, as Joey's voice boomed over Kaiba's protests, arguing, "Sorry Kaiba, but it's traditional to spank the birthday boy the number of times that is age is....which is 18. But we'll go easy on ya....honest!"

Despite those trying to remind Kaiba that Mokuba was in the room, Kaiba was swearing like a sailor at them, threatening everything under the sun from their lives, to their family, to their unborn children, struggling to escape. But one by one each person managed to get a spank on his behind 18 times each. None of them actually hurt, but it was his pride more than anything that was being bruised....and if he had anything to say about it later, he would get his revenge!! And to his horror....even Mokuba joined in this 'traditional moment', while at the same time pleading with his brother not to hurt him or them, since it was just an innocent birthday gag, but Kaiba didn't seem to find this very humorous.

After everyone got their shots in, all at once they ran out of their together, including Mokuba, as the charging bull was upon them, ready to make them all die. It could have been quite a sight for anyone to be able to witness the 8 people running out of the mansion, all at once somehow managing to squeeze through the single front door together, while one person trying to chase them down. But Kaiba didn't chase them far, and finally slammed the door as they left, too embarrassed from what they did to bother chasing any of them further.

Finally, Kaiba went crawling into his room, knowing he would never be able to live this down. He hated this day, and wished it would never come again.

This was definitely for him....the Birthday from Hell.

END

ooc: Well, it was an attempt. Let me know what you think, good or bad. Maybe some suggestions to improve it.


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